It is very common that after watching or listening to something, we no doubt, would have had a change in our minds. We surely would have felt one of the three I's namely: inspired, impressed or an impact. We get impressed by good singing or dancing. We get inspired and feel a powerful impact after reading amazing writings or viewing extraordinary artwork. But, there is one thing that makes all the three I's hit our minds at once. That is good communicative skills.
In this era where misunderstandings among people have become quite common, an effective speaker is the only one who can save the day. You will be amazed to know this, most of the fights happen due to petty things that are blown out of proportion due to people's lack of conversing and convincing skills!
The most common question that arises here is: how do I speak without offending anyone, put my point straight without any obstacles and prevent the escalation of the situation to a worser level? If this has to be asked in simple terms, how do I fire three arrows on the target without missing a single one?
Before proceeding to the answer, I'd like to share with you a common misconception that occurs at this juncture and a small experience of mine. Recently, I was watching the Rajya Sabha session where there was a discussion regarding the farm bills. The first hour was going on smoothly without any hinderance, but then suddenly, people started screaming hoarsely, behaved in a very indecent manner and they indulged in a verbal spat.
It is always believed that the more you shout the more power or authority you can gain. I think this is completely wrong. Ok, to an extent you can keep people's mouth shut and reduce their voices, but you can't crumple them. Your acts will double the rage within them and the fight becomes more intense. Shouting to show your supremacy is equal to adding ghee to a blazing fire. This neither provides you an upper hand nor helps you to silence your opponents.
What has to be done here then? One thing we must know here is that people have different perceptions regarding different things. If we understand the very basic fact that just like how no two people have the same fingerprints, people don't have the same perceptions. So, using your intelligence, you must put your arguments in such a way that people agree with you and also, can't raise fingers against you. The speakers who understand this ground reality become the most impactful and of course, the most popular and favourite.
One more point to remember. When you partake in any discussion, the most essential thing here is to understand that when you point a finger towards someone, four fingers point back at you. Never ever feel that you are perfect or are the best speaker. Because that is when you either miss out on points, reduce your preparation or start getting inclined towards the flatterers. Also, your vision becomes hazy; you can't distinguish between true admirers and fake praisers. So, it is very important for a good speaker to be down to earth and open to suggestions.
The most important factor that raises you above the rest is your response to critics. Speakers' take on critics keeps changing over the passage of time. When you first set your foot in the world of communication, critic reviews affect you a lot. A new speaker is mostly sensitive and takes reviews to the heart. Gradually, reviews start affecting you lesser and you are able to look at the deeper meaning of things and retrospect. Once you become very good, you start ignoring them and crown yourselves as the best. But again you face a tumult and come back to normalcy.
Remember, even if you win the first prize, you must be open to suggestions on improvement. A good speaker is the one who respects the opinion of the critics, applies the good suggestions and is himself capable of thinking like a critic.
A small motivation to the starters who have realised their superb skill of conversing. A critic is like an antibiotic, sometimes sour, sometimes bitter (sometimes sweet too!) but always helps you rectify your faults, gives you new stamina and makes you feel rejuvenated. If you have spoken in such a way that no critic has raised their finger, it means you have achieved your biggest success! (It might seem impossible, but there is nothing wrong in aiming for that).
Experiential learning is something that surely stays in the mind and leaves a mark. So, if you have experienced that haughtiness of yours, have come out of it and haven't fallen in that trap since then, kudos to you! You are a balanced speaker who can accept both good and bad!
A few beginners might ask: why do we need to pay attention to the negative comments? Optimism is the best way to climb higher on the ladder of success. Yes, I agree with that point. But, one thing I'd like to comment here. Everything lies in the brain. Critics aren't pessimists; they are keen observers with high intelligence who give tips to improve. Now it is all up to you, how you receive it. If you take it as demotivating stuff, then it is entirely your fault. But if you look at it with a different viewpoint, you can do wonders. Those who are able to look diametrically can never be defeated.
One more thing to remember. NEVER beat around the bush. You may speak for less time but don't ever go round and round. By doing so, you give your opponent an impression that you don't have much knowledge regarding the topic, thus reducing your impact. If you have a choice regarding choosing a topic, don't choose something that is difficult for you. Choose something which you are comfortable with and just see, you guys will rock it.
Often it is assumed that speaking on hard topics makes you appear like a sophisticated person which is completely baseless. It is fine when you have thoroughly prepared and have full knowledge regarding the topic. If not so, you end up making a fool out of yourself in the crowd. If you have a choice or don't, just remember one thing. Go behind covering good points and convincing the audience. If you do so, then you are bound to build up the three I's within the audience.
The first problem faced by all those who want to become great speakers is their stage fear. Few of them are able to overcome it very easily, few arise with a push, but few- even though having ideas- aren't able to come out of their cocoon. The only difference between the first and third type is that: The first have mastered the the two E's: emotion and expression. These are also very important qualities that separate exceptional speakers from the normal ones. If you can control your emotions (without making it too melodramatic like in the debates) and use the right expression (puns, irony) at the correct instance, you truly rise above. Your words will surely connect with the audience, you will strike the right chord and reflections of your thinking will surely resonate among the masses.
A small tip to all the scared ones out there. You will never know the taste of something if you don't taste it yourself. Only if you start, you can aim to become a sensation. Similarly, until you don't face the stage, you will not know what your actual worth is. Prejudging your abilities without a try is very foolish on your part. When you stand in front of the stage, think you are standing in front of a mirror and there is none around. This way, you can motivate yourself and perform better.
On the whole, if you want to hit all the arrows correctly on the target, follow the three important aspects (3 I's), the two main points (2 E's) and bear the perceptions and critics in your mind. Let your speeches be the cause of change, not the tool of propaganda. Always be aware of the fact that provoking speeches and powerful communication is both a sword and a shield. Even though the person is not alive, their voices still ring in our minds.
Finally, remember, we all have the spectacular speaker hidden within each one of us who has gone into a deep slumber. He just has to be roused. Last but not the least, you will become an awesome speaker if you awaken your inner voice and are able to voice your concerns in a plausible way.
. - Anusha Sridhar
