Body Positivity

 In this world where friends are measured by followers on social media sites, likes on a post measure one's beauty, preconceived notions about a certain body type takes the center stage- it is important to not lose one's serenity. 

It is important to not get discouraged by a certain section of people having narrow-minded thoughts. It is important to ensure that meaningful conversations don't take a backseat. It is important to understand the concept of inclusivity and apply it to our everyday lives. It is important to always stay positive and never fall prey to the negativity surrounding us.

In today's time where there are lots of expectations and comparisons, it sometimes so happens that people tend to presume things about your appearance. They rate your looks based on certain societal standards and expect you to fall into that bracket. If you don't, you are branded, but if you manage to fall into that category, you are venerated.  These double standards of people and their archaic thinking leads to something called 'body shaming'.

This problem is not something which has just been discovered. It has always been existent. The only difference this time is that people are now boldly opening up; are telling the world about their awful experiences.

 Every man who doesn't have a chiseled body and toned arms is the target for trolls. Similarly, every woman who doesn't have a flat stomach and toned legs is also the bait for trolls.

One must understand that there is a lot of difference between critics and trollers. Critics are the people who are genuinely concerned about you and your health; their sole intention is only to motivate you to shed those extra kilos.  But, trollers are the people who call you names; try to put you down in front of a crowd. Know the difference and don't distance yourself from the good people in your lives.

Many family members also keep bringing up the topic of weight. There is mostly a comparison done with cousins or relatives of the same age. Many-a-times even one's dressing sense is also chided. There are only two things we can do when a family member is involved: either ignore them or be brave and tell them your genuine feelings- the anguish and insecurity you feel when they always point you out.

At one point in our life, all of us have either been on the giving side or on the receiving side of comments about our body. How many times have we called someone 'motu' or even said 'tu intni patli hai ki meri phook se tu udd jayegi' to a person? These lines bring the loudest of laughter among friends. One might argue that such statements are only intended to be a joke and both the parties enjoy it. But the reality is that after a certain point, that person is known to the world only by their weight- not by their achievements. There is a certain sense of dislike developed towards one's own body. If remained unchecked, it goes to an extreme; the other person's confidence falters very badly and he/she goes into the labyrinth of self-doubt and depression. This is a vicious cycle to which a big full stop has to be put. Scars that happen in childhood can never be fully healed.

'There is awareness that body shaming is bad, but there is no acceptance of different body sizes.'  Even in a few popular shops, a woman's mannequin is generally represented as someone with a slim waist. A woman is generally presumed to be someone with a short height, small feet and who can easily wear all kinds of clothes without any apprehensions. Everyone has different body sizes yet shops choose to portray a body figure which most of the people don't even have. It breaks my heart to see no proper clothes for people having a bigger waistline than the conventional kind. Yes, there are separate shops for people who are bigger but the stigma around the topic makes some feel awkward while going to such places. 

A mother had conducted an experiment to teach her child what bullying does to a person. She asked the child to think of the paper as a person and call it names. As she started saying things, the mother kept crumpling the paper bit by bit. After the entire paper was crumpled, she asked her child to say sorry to the paper. She opened the paper back to its original size. The paper lost its entire form.

This is exactly what happens during body-shaming. You destroy a person's confidence like slow poison; he stops communicating, making friends and goes into a shell.

"I am not handsome, but I can give my hand-to-some when in need. Beauty is in the heart, not in the face."  This quote by Dr. Kalam makes people think- question their ways of assessment of others and their own hypocrisy while doing so.

Stop judging yourself based on your appearance. Love yourself no matter what people think about you. Having a healthy body is not wrong if you are active and flexible enough to do your own tasks. Keep yourself fit despite however you look because that will increase your longevity and will make your brain sharper. Lose weight only for your sake; don't do it due to the societal pressure to look appeasing.

 Finally, stop measuring a person's worth through one's body features and start measuring them through their kind gestures. Change the way you look at people and your life will surely change for the better.

                             - Anusha Sridhar

Independence

There is a popular saying- in order to achieve something, we must be independent. We must be aware of the losses and gains of our actions. That only happens when we understand the gravity of the situation and start taking responsibility for our deeds.

Now, what exactly is independence? Not being dependent and attaining liberation from something or someone. It is not a compulsion as such to be able to stand on your own feet and take a steadfast stance, but it is important to at least prepare oneself to be so when the need arises.

Independence is not something that is related to age. It is a quality that evokes from within depending on the circumstances and our understanding of ground reality. In other words, it depends on a person's maturity levels and how capable they are to grasp both the sides of the coin.

In this journey of becoming self-reliant, it is very important to respect our choices and not lament about them. Thinking a lot about the past will make us sink in the quicksand of regret and despair. There is nothing we can do to change what has happened. So it is important to always keep moving forward and ensure that each day takes us an inch closer to the penultimate goal. 

Not all days are going to be bright and not all circumstances will favour us. We mustn't stop working despite knowing beforehand that situations are not going to play out our way. It is important to be optimistic and look for a smarter approach that will bring us out. Believe that there is always a happy ending waiting and we can reach it only if we go the extra mile.

Being independent doesn't mean that when you are overcome by self-doubt and anxiety due to certain outcomes, you have to face it all by yourself. You must always acknowledge the people who are always by your side as a friend and as a guide. It is fine if you sometimes are not able to fit into the conventional model of a self-sufficient person. It is fine if sometimes you fall short of something. But it is important to comeback stronger after every setback.

Sometimes, being independent might make people arrogant and they start judging others for still living in someone's shadow and taking a second opinion. This is wrong. Everyone has their own understanding and way of doing things. We have no right to poke our nose and give unnecessary advice.

Independence- to an extent- would also mean to follow your daily routine meticulously and play an active role in the household work. It might look comparatively lesser to few, but knowing such things would surely be beneficial for us in the long run. We must learn to never look down at anything as insignificant.

Independence has its own cost. It is something that comes to some with choice and to some without a choice. Irrespective of that, we have to accept whatever comes to us. When we know some things can't be changed, instead of cribbing about it, we must either take it up as a challenge and aim to change certain aspects or must start enjoying the process and change the situation we are in. Either way, our sole aim must be to improve the condition we are in.

Nobody is fully independent. At some point or the other we need someone's assistance to cope up with situations. So one must always raise the bar high with each attempt. Must come up with novel ideas to sustain the competition. Must be aware of what is going on around. Must be conscious of the way we project ourselves and MUST understand that EVERYTHING has a price. Every breakthrough, everything achieved always comes with a price.

                                      - Anusha Sridhar