Expectations- the cause for doom or the catalyst for development?

It is a natural human tendency to have expectations on oneself and on others. But not many have the strength to look at themselves once they fail. They go on the track of depression and curse themselves. They become afraid to face reality and lock themselves behind doors. 

Now the main question arises here. Should people have expectations? Is it good or bad? The further lines will provide an insight on how I have perceived this deep-rooted topic.

First of all before plunging into this topic, we must know why people have expectations and what exactly does it mean. 'Expectation' is a term used to define a person's fixed goals which he wants to achieve. This word is used to build up the competitive spirit within us and gives us the strength not to limit ourselves and look beyond horizons.

Now coming to the point- why people have expectations? It is really simple. Having expectations will show us how high we can aim for and will decide our capability. It will show us our responsiveness if something in a plan goes topsy-turvy. It will show us how we can change the situation to our benefit and will assess our thinking power. 

Are expectations good or bad? There are several theories on this. Before proceeding further, one must know that there are two types of expectations. One, that is being forced on you and you personally have no interest in that. Two, that is your passion and you are desperate to achieve it.

In type one, again there is a split in the kind of people. First, are those who forgo their dreams due to peer pressure, accept whatever is being told to them and move on. Second, are those who are not fixed towards anything. Their mind keeps wavering, they can't decide what to do and thus end up in a dense labyrinth. They are the ones who lose out on both the options they have.

The first case of people are better as they at least channelize their energy in one direction (even though they are not interested) slowly, grow towards liking it and feel that fate has thought it to be a better option for them. Be like type two always- who have the burning  fire within, that's what I suggest.

As mentioned in the beginning, expecting something which you can achieve is fine (Not that expecting beyond is not acceptable, but yes, if you can make that true and do not lament if things go wrong and stand back stronger, you can expect higher). But once you set that benchmark for yourself, you can't fall below that. You either have to stay on the surface or go higher. The choice is yours how you want to be, but never have a high-low margin after you have reached your best, that's what I want to say.

See, there are not many who can hit six sixes in an over always. There surely will be ones, twos and fours also, one has to accept that. But what is the condition of those who have established themselves as a perfect scorer who has never gone wrong? What is the condition of those people who have a tag attached to their collar as the 'most-efficient' person? What will happen to those people who have achieved 'celebrity status' and end up coming to a lesser level due to one small mistake?

The most immediate reaction would be shock waves spreading among colleagues and friends. There will be a sudden change in their behavior and people start backstabbing you. Your position falls down and you are not given anything important. There is a saying that if a person who is an epitome of truth utters a lie for the first time, he would never be trusted again. Same thing here. People's perception towards you just changes in the blink of an eye and you become a topic of discussion as to how you spoilt your own name.

It is not that you can never bounce back. It is just that most of us have never thought of it as an option. Remember, if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters, meaning that there are many opportunities for you to prove your mettle and regain people's confidence on you.

But sadly, most people have horse's eyes, meaning, they don't look around them, they think think that the way in front of them is the only path and there is nothing else. They start behaving like frogs in the well who don't know anything other than their own dwelling place! This situation gets worse if people end up their lives.

Now again, we must know why people end their life. Self-expectation is not something that will drive people to the door of death. As already mentioned, we have expectations on ourselves and even on others. By others, I mean Bollywood celebrities, sports personalities, CEO of companies or be anyone for that matter. We even expect the way people have to sit! I mean above one point, if a person crosses the saturation level how can he have inner peace? By talking about these people everywhere; in newspapers, on TV, in paparazzi; aren't we making their lives public? Their personal life news bothers us more than what is cooking in our homes.

In one way indirectly, aren't we stealing from them the right to do what they want? (We literally stalk these people everywhere and if we don't like their clothes, we make them as headlines, why??). In this way we are adding more pressure to the already pressurized mind of those people who do not know how to handle their stardom side-effects. On top of that, there are trolls, memes made on them if something is not up to the mark. I am questioning, isn't this negativity enough to make weak people commit suicide?

The more better you become with each attempt or the higher you rise every time, the more limelight you get in this world. You are recognized wherever you go and lose your basic right to freedom!

When you start achieving your plans without faltering, you automatically get that 'celeb tag' on you. You can't be your true self, you always have to maintain that smile of yours and can't scowl at anyone. You have to maintain a code of decency and can't roam wherever you want. You have expectations on yourself to reach a certain height. But once you do so, you come to the spotlight and more than yourself, others start expecting things from you.

You never realize when self-expectations turn into group pressure! Always remember, the higher you rise on your ladder of goals, the more you give away with your personal choices. Everything in life comes with a price. There is nothing like free lunch.

The most common question that arises at this point is how do you cope up with the stress from all directions? What do we do? It is really simple. Have a true friend (parents are the best) with whom you can share everything and free yourselves from your sorrow. Weep on someone's shoulder whom you know will not leave by your side. Read your favorite book, listen to good songs or soothing music and indulge in your favorite pastime and see how your day changes within the snap of your fingers. 

Every life is precious and death is not the final solution. There are different ways to come out of the spiral of sorrow. Remember, you must always think twice before choosing something. If you are very particular about  your path and steady in your decision, be ready to face criticism and backlash because the world is filled with so many of that kind who have a problem even with your minute actions. Never end your life because you will be called weak. Stand back stronger and hit back at all those who condemned you. For a person who has fallen down, I think this is the best expectation that will keep his heart beating faster.

So, on the whole, I'd like to say one thing. Expect something as long as you know that you won't break so easily. Expecting to achieve your plans is fine as long as you know what failure is and how to battle it. Expectations are good as long as you have self-confidence, but are bad if you have over-confidence. Be strong to face the reality and see how your life will change diametrically. You will become a completely different person with new enthusiasm.

Expect something when you know that you will never tread the path of self-destruction if something goes wrong. Expect something only when you are FULLY AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES and be prepared to face any disaster that comes your way. Finally, be you, never change for anyone and expect the unexpected with grit and believe that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE AND EVERYTHING LIES IN THE HUMAN BRAIN! Keep up to your expectations- that is enough, as it is not possible to satisfy everyone, there will be people finding faults- and never fall down after listening to hate comments.

Rise like a phoenix from the ashes and prove your worth! If you can put a tick to all these conditions that 'yes, I can surpass these hurdles', then expectations will just become a piece of cake and achieving it will become a cakewalk..

                                         

                                      - Anusha Sridhar