Expectations- the cause for doom or the catalyst for development?

It is a natural human tendency to have expectations on oneself and on others. But not many have the strength to look at themselves once they fail. They go on the track of depression and curse themselves. They become afraid to face reality and lock themselves behind doors. 

Now the main question arises here. Should people have expectations? Is it good or bad? The further lines will provide an insight on how I have perceived this deep-rooted topic.

First of all before plunging into this topic, we must know why people have expectations and what exactly does it mean. 'Expectation' is a term used to define a person's fixed goals which he wants to achieve. This word is used to build up the competitive spirit within us and gives us the strength not to limit ourselves and look beyond horizons.

Now coming to the point- why people have expectations? It is really simple. Having expectations will show us how high we can aim for and will decide our capability. It will show us our responsiveness if something in a plan goes topsy-turvy. It will show us how we can change the situation to our benefit and will assess our thinking power. 

Are expectations good or bad? There are several theories on this. Before proceeding further, one must know that there are two types of expectations. One, that is being forced on you and you personally have no interest in that. Two, that is your passion and you are desperate to achieve it.

In type one, again there is a split in the kind of people. First, are those who forgo their dreams due to peer pressure, accept whatever is being told to them and move on. Second, are those who are not fixed towards anything. Their mind keeps wavering, they can't decide what to do and thus end up in a dense labyrinth. They are the ones who lose out on both the options they have.

The first case of people are better as they at least channelize their energy in one direction (even though they are not interested) slowly, grow towards liking it and feel that fate has thought it to be a better option for them. Be like type two always- who have the burning  fire within, that's what I suggest.

As mentioned in the beginning, expecting something which you can achieve is fine (Not that expecting beyond is not acceptable, but yes, if you can make that true and do not lament if things go wrong and stand back stronger, you can expect higher). But once you set that benchmark for yourself, you can't fall below that. You either have to stay on the surface or go higher. The choice is yours how you want to be, but never have a high-low margin after you have reached your best, that's what I want to say.

See, there are not many who can hit six sixes in an over always. There surely will be ones, twos and fours also, one has to accept that. But what is the condition of those who have established themselves as a perfect scorer who has never gone wrong? What is the condition of those people who have a tag attached to their collar as the 'most-efficient' person? What will happen to those people who have achieved 'celebrity status' and end up coming to a lesser level due to one small mistake?

The most immediate reaction would be shock waves spreading among colleagues and friends. There will be a sudden change in their behavior and people start backstabbing you. Your position falls down and you are not given anything important. There is a saying that if a person who is an epitome of truth utters a lie for the first time, he would never be trusted again. Same thing here. People's perception towards you just changes in the blink of an eye and you become a topic of discussion as to how you spoilt your own name.

It is not that you can never bounce back. It is just that most of us have never thought of it as an option. Remember, if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters, meaning that there are many opportunities for you to prove your mettle and regain people's confidence on you.

But sadly, most people have horse's eyes, meaning, they don't look around them, they think think that the way in front of them is the only path and there is nothing else. They start behaving like frogs in the well who don't know anything other than their own dwelling place! This situation gets worse if people end up their lives.

Now again, we must know why people end their life. Self-expectation is not something that will drive people to the door of death. As already mentioned, we have expectations on ourselves and even on others. By others, I mean Bollywood celebrities, sports personalities, CEO of companies or be anyone for that matter. We even expect the way people have to sit! I mean above one point, if a person crosses the saturation level how can he have inner peace? By talking about these people everywhere; in newspapers, on TV, in paparazzi; aren't we making their lives public? Their personal life news bothers us more than what is cooking in our homes.

In one way indirectly, aren't we stealing from them the right to do what they want? (We literally stalk these people everywhere and if we don't like their clothes, we make them as headlines, why??). In this way we are adding more pressure to the already pressurized mind of those people who do not know how to handle their stardom side-effects. On top of that, there are trolls, memes made on them if something is not up to the mark. I am questioning, isn't this negativity enough to make weak people commit suicide?

The more better you become with each attempt or the higher you rise every time, the more limelight you get in this world. You are recognized wherever you go and lose your basic right to freedom!

When you start achieving your plans without faltering, you automatically get that 'celeb tag' on you. You can't be your true self, you always have to maintain that smile of yours and can't scowl at anyone. You have to maintain a code of decency and can't roam wherever you want. You have expectations on yourself to reach a certain height. But once you do so, you come to the spotlight and more than yourself, others start expecting things from you.

You never realize when self-expectations turn into group pressure! Always remember, the higher you rise on your ladder of goals, the more you give away with your personal choices. Everything in life comes with a price. There is nothing like free lunch.

The most common question that arises at this point is how do you cope up with the stress from all directions? What do we do? It is really simple. Have a true friend (parents are the best) with whom you can share everything and free yourselves from your sorrow. Weep on someone's shoulder whom you know will not leave by your side. Read your favorite book, listen to good songs or soothing music and indulge in your favorite pastime and see how your day changes within the snap of your fingers. 

Every life is precious and death is not the final solution. There are different ways to come out of the spiral of sorrow. Remember, you must always think twice before choosing something. If you are very particular about  your path and steady in your decision, be ready to face criticism and backlash because the world is filled with so many of that kind who have a problem even with your minute actions. Never end your life because you will be called weak. Stand back stronger and hit back at all those who condemned you. For a person who has fallen down, I think this is the best expectation that will keep his heart beating faster.

So, on the whole, I'd like to say one thing. Expect something as long as you know that you won't break so easily. Expecting to achieve your plans is fine as long as you know what failure is and how to battle it. Expectations are good as long as you have self-confidence, but are bad if you have over-confidence. Be strong to face the reality and see how your life will change diametrically. You will become a completely different person with new enthusiasm.

Expect something when you know that you will never tread the path of self-destruction if something goes wrong. Expect something only when you are FULLY AWARE OF THE CONSEQUENCES and be prepared to face any disaster that comes your way. Finally, be you, never change for anyone and expect the unexpected with grit and believe that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE AND EVERYTHING LIES IN THE HUMAN BRAIN! Keep up to your expectations- that is enough, as it is not possible to satisfy everyone, there will be people finding faults- and never fall down after listening to hate comments.

Rise like a phoenix from the ashes and prove your worth! If you can put a tick to all these conditions that 'yes, I can surpass these hurdles', then expectations will just become a piece of cake and achieving it will become a cakewalk..

                                         

                                      - Anusha Sridhar

Festivities

India is the best example of unity in diversity where people from different cultural mosaics live under one roof. These people have their own distinct traditions and they observe every ritual in their own unique methods. Even though these communities follow divergent practices, all of them come together to celebrate one common festival loved by all- Ganesh Chaturthi.

Ganesh Chaturthi is celebrated in every nook and corner of the country in a splendid manner for ten days. This festival is celebrated to mark the birth of the problem-alleviator and the astute thinker- Lord Ganesha. Every day sumptuous food and mouthwatering sweets are presented to Vinayaka (He is just like any one of us, a sweet-lover with his favorite being Modak). Usually, the festival falls during many kids' exams so it is mostly them who pray  him for good scores and a nice rank. It is really amazing how these children balance between studies and fun so efficiently. 

 In many apartments and gated-communities, a Ganesh idol is placed which is worshipped every day. There are games, dancing, singing competitions organised in which everyone- regardless of age- take part and have fun. Children run hither-tither and play the entire evening. Prizes are given away to winners, there are auctions conducted (where it poures money and people go to any height to buy things) for the Laddoo and the Lord's Vastram, and in this entire event, kids get garbed in different attires every day and become really busy in taking pictures. In schools, clay Ganesha making competitions and a jamboree is conducted.

The main highlight in these entire proceedings is the lavish buffet provided the day before the idol immersion and the dance that we perform when the idol is being taken in a truck. During this time, it doesn't matter if you are a dancer or not. You just jump into the arena, shake and twist the way you want!! We hire drum-players for about two hours and keep dancing non-stop! Also, a mini-Holi is played by all where people smear color on each other's faces. Dozens of people go to the nearest lake in trucks and the roads become full! There would be no place, but still more and more people squeeze in. This is very common everywhere and people eagerly wait for that time- where they can open up the fullest.

 After complete two-three hours (or sometimes even four; completely unpredictable) of mental and physical gusto, finally, the air of excitement around us comes down and we become our normal self. After finishing the cleaning, we again start longing for the next year festivities and this cycle keeps going on.

Before proceeding further, one must know the reason why this household festival is celebrated like a carnival. During the British era, when Indians had no unity among themselves, Lokamanya Tilak wanted to bring everyone together. So he organised a religious gathering, stuck posters and popularized the notion of group Ganesh puja at the time when public gatherings were banned. Since Lord Ganesha is worshipped by all castes and creeds, he thought it befitting to bring Gajanan's worship to a larger platform so as to unite people and bring within them the spirit of nationalism. This festival played a pivotal role in shaping the patriotic fervour. Due to that reason, even today, the festival is celebrated in a majestic way.  

It is believed that when we immerse the idol in a water body, we would be leaving behind all our bad qualities thus elevating ourselves to the next state. In olden days, mud Ganeshas were submerged in water. The reason behind this was our ancestors concern towards all the beings of nature.  By doing so, the soil in the sea becomes rich in nutrients thus providing food for the aquatic animals. 

But sadly, these days, POP Ganeshas are used thus polluting the sea water. It doesn't get dissolved unlike mud and causes suffocation for the water animals. So, let us be aware of the fact that our actions done in ignorance would harm nature. Let us take steps to prevent the contamination of our pure water bodies and start looking for ingenious methods to make Ganeshas like using clay, dough, planting seeds inside mud so that it can be watered to grow plants etc. Let us play our role as a responsible citizen and spread awareness among people.

Due to the COVID pandemic, there may not be a full-swing celebration and mass gathering this time. So, let us put on our thinking caps and explore the options of making different types of Ganeshas using eco-friendly materials. 

In many institutions, centers and apartments there are virtual celebrations being conducted. This is done for two reasons. One, is to brighten up moods of people who are feeling sad that they can't have a gala time like last year. Two, is to take them back on a trip down the memory lane so that all the good days get refreshed amidst these adverse times.  Also, many channels have organised Ganesh utsavs with celebrities (which would be aired on national TV) so that people can feel happy seeing their favorite actors/actresses perform and forget their unhappiness.

Every year, we always perform the puja of Ganapati without full knowledge of the symbolism of the festival and the true meaning hidden behind his stories. Lord Ganesha going three times around his parents not only says that he is intelligent but also conveys the message that parents are the child's world and one must always respect them. He chose a mouse as his Vahan so as to spread the message in the society that no animal is less than the other and all lives are equal. He makes us understand that wars are won not by fight but by using one's brain.

The large head of Ganesha symbolizes wisdom and he has huge ears so that he can capture even the tiniest detail in a conversation and can listen to his devotees. The trunk can hold anything in this universe. Similarly, humans too should possess high adaptability factors. Due to these deep-layered messages hidden within these simple anecdotes and symbols, his cleverness and the way of bringing things out without hurting anyone, Lord Ganesha is worshipped first before beginning any task.

So, let us all spend this time well to become well-versed in the reasons behind celebrating any festival, follow the set of procedures wholeheartedly and know more about our mythology. Let us pray for the frontline COVID warriors and increase in the recovery rate of the country. Let us pray to the Vighnahartha- the remover of obstacles to give us the strength to cross this hurdle of COVID that is destroying livelihoods. Finally, let us all pray that by next year everything comes back to normalcy and we welcome him, in a more grand way!!

                                JAI SHRI GANESHA!!

                                         

                                                         

                                                                                                - Anusha Sridhar

The Pursuit

There have been several instances in life where we have not been able to deduce in which aspect of our conduct we were going wrong. Also, many a times, we felt unsatisfied regarding the choices we made and the company we chose. At that grim point in life, we tend to get baffled and fall into a spiral of confusion. We sometimes lose mental stability while racking our brain for answers without realizing that they lie in front of us!! It is just that we have never turned our heads to look at it.

Once the truth dawns upon us, we embark on a journey to seek explanations with a hope that ultimately we would know the reason for our caprices.

How will this 'personal quest for clarification of our queries' become successful? How can we kick-start this journey to the 'road of remedies'? It is very simple. Have an idol or an inspiration whom you emulate and follow his/her footprints. This part is very important because you must choose your role model based on your interests and not by succumbing to people's opinion. The person whom you prefer as a catalyst must be entirely of your own discretion because the more you connect with the person's interests, the better head-start you get on the path of progress. You can associate with their experiences and can relate to things happening with you. This will be a great advantage.

One more thing to remember at this juncture. Every unpleasant situation we encounter always delivers some or the other life lesson to us. This may seem shocking, but even the small naughty things that we commit, too, teaches us something!!

Since different people will look up to different persons, I take a common example with whom everyone can correlate with; the Supreme Godhead, the First Teacher- Lord Krishna.

Yes, you heard me right. The Paramount is an exemplar of good virtues. One can learn many things from him. If we implement them in our life then we will make great strides.

In every stage of His life, He has taught us something. He was mischievous when he was a kid- stealing butter, breaking pots- and had lots of fun too- dancing with gopis, playing games with friends, herding the cows with his pals and playing the flute very beautifully that mesmerized everybody and enchanted the gopikas who danced with him humming the symphonious tune. Even though he was naughty, he never disrespected his parents. He loved them so much that he couldn't see them in pain. He was always ready to do anything for their sake. What we must learn from him is that having fun in childhood is not a bad deed as long as you know your limits. When there is team spirit and oneness among friends, we can achieve anything. By lifting the Govardhan mountain, he proved that one must be ready at the time of a catastrophe and must put one's best foot forward in helping everyone.

By killing the evil tyrannical king Kansa, he fulfilled his promise that he gave in the sloka:

Paritranaya Sadhunam, Vinashaya cha Dushkrutam

Dharma Sansthapanarthaya, Sambhavami Yuge Yuge!!

He said that he will always come to the rescue of the pious and benign people and will annihilate the evil thus rescuing Dharma. He will help Dharma triumph over Adharma and will always descend whenever there is imbalance and chaos in the world. He has taught us the significance of a promise and made us understand the value of a vow and how by breaking it, we would breach people's trust.

He redefined friendship. His camaraderie with Arjun is one of the finest examples of a true friend. He showed to the world that a sincere companion is the one who is present in both your highs and lows. He is the one who points out your flaws and helps you recognize them. In this era of competitiveness, where there are more flatterers than bosom friends, we must take cues from them to differentiate between fake and faithful friends.

Your status in the society is not by your birth, but by your actions. But, unfortunately, many people have forgotten this and are discriminating between the economic statures, which have alienated those who are disfavored. This was prevalent even during the ancient times, but Keshav put a full-stop to all this by washing the feet of his poor Brahmin friend Sudama- who had walked a long distance without food and had just brought a small bundle of rice with him to repay the food he had eaten years ago when they were studying in the Sandipani ashram. Sudama neither spoke about the difficulties he endured nor about the extreme poverty he was living in, but Madhusudan knew everything about his friend's pitiable state. So without his friend asking, he made him rich by transforming his dilapidated hut into an ostentatious palace and gave him good clothes and jewellery.

From this we can learn two things. One is that, never think making friends with an impecunious person will lower your worth in the society. Remember, poorest of people have the richest of hearts because they have faced all kinds of circumstances. Second, a true friend will always know the deepest of desires in your heart and without you asking will fulfill your wish.

He was an affectionate and protective brother of Draupadi and saved her from the humiliation by Dushasan. He safeguarded her honor and stood as a barrier between her and all the evils. He was always there and helped her in all her difficulties. He wiped her tears and was her biggest well-wisher. The people of today must learn the true meaning of a big brother. In this age, where women are ill-treated and body-shamed, this is a fitting example of how a sibling relationship should be.

And finally, the first motivational speaker, Lord Krishna has given us a huge treasure which is proving to be useful in the current scenario- the Bhagavad Gita. Who better than the Omnipotent Being- the one who is above Maya or illusion and narrow walls of ethnicity- can explain to us the laws of living a successful life in the world?

Whenever we are in deep sorrow or are not able to take accurate decisions, following the discourses of the Gita will bring miraculous changes. The Gita gives us the push to rise from the shell of self-pity and makes us self-confident. This is one method to awaken our inner conscience and we can realize the power of the divine. We can arouse our souls from the deep slumber and can become soul-conscious, thus erasing the frenzy of materialism. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us how to be a 'Sthitapragnya', meaning the one who has renounced from worldly pleasures, has no ahankara within him and has a balanced demeanor in all kinds of circumstances.

The person who has achieved this highest level of knowledge will finish his journey to seek solutions and will rise above the rest. The person who is well-versed in the Gita and applies the teachings in real life also will achieve supreme bliss and will have no need to wander for answers, because, he himself will become a storehouse of wisdom.

So, let us all follow the path prescribed by the All Knowing God and imbibe the values that he established in the society. Let us not deviate from our way and work to carry forward our priceless heritage to the future generations and make them aware about the great legacies of the Lord. Let us strive to be a protective brother, a loving friend and a concerned person like the Supreme Deity. Let us go the extra mile to find out our faults and work towards being a better person.

                                               - Anusha Sridhar